going to an eye specialist is seriously one of the most horrible experience ever.

is anyone interested in looking of photographs of a bleeding eyeball? :D

IT'S A CYCLE
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maybe i got too dependent when i was in a relationship.which is why i get sick,sore eyes & all sorts of sickness when i am not.i need to change this,man.
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didnt go to school today.cough worsened,now got fever somemore.i feel horrible with my headache and my heart pounding so fast T__T
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i dont have flu.so,surely,it cant be H1N1 right?

MISC & THAILAND

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it's like time just zapped past and it's already november.i can't recall doing anything significant enough this year and my new year resolution has gone all 'hancur'(in malay,it means something like broken in tiny pieces).so much for trying to be punctual and start baking.but the baking part is really not my fault.i'm moving house in less than a month,remember?i can't afford to blow up my kitchen at this critical time.
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last night,i did err something like a self reflection la and noticed that life isnt really that long and i wont be 21 forever.so i kinda did a list of things i should do.not things like ohh i should go clubbing till i die since i'm only young once -___-
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many people saw my clubbing photos from my bday and also for halloween and decided that i'm an avid clubber when i've only gone like,thrice this year?i dont know..maybe i've gone old but when i step into a club,i feel excited for the first few minutes and then discomfort after that.till i get tipsy anyway..maybe i'm too old for it?and don't expect me to start dancing when i am 100% sober.i feel damn shy and awkward la.and i can't drink too much either since i am not a good drinker.tipsy is my limit and i will never go and get drunk and trash myself.
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after the halloween party,i decided that i am never going for another halloween party EVER again.i only went for the experience of dressing up and seeing other people dressed up as all sorts of people/things.we kinda regretted it.we queued for a full 3 hours with so many inconsiderate queue cutters and it was sooooooo freaking damn packed in the club that my feet couldn't touch the ground for a few brief moments when i walked and my toes got stepped on many times -__- some dudes(i think dressed as the hulk and some greek god or something) and rubbed their sweaty topless bodies against me which was so gross.so yup,i am never going for another halloween party.
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the highlight of the halloween part was when we were getting drinks,we saw this erm..somewhat fleshy girl grinding the pole at the dancefloor where many people could see her and she was enjoying the attention.and then this random guy who had 'hamsap' written all over his face went up to grind her.we thought she would get angry but she was enjoying it too.hmm..so..there are people THIS open?
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sorry,i sidetracked too much.some of the things that was in my to-do-list are to 'pan leng leng'(means doll up in cantonese) more often.don't spend so much money till i go 'pokai'(broke) even when i am sad.shop alone and use retail therapy moderately.try to save crazy loads of money.be genuinely happy.find a job!plan for my future!nag my sister to plan for her wedding.i feel so bad i made my bro unable to be one of my FBiL's brother cos of my own problem.but nvm.let's move along.
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♥ ♥ ♥
THAILAND 11thnov09' - 14thnov09'
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super impromptu trip.we booked the flight tickets and hotel 3 days beforehand.imma roll the entire trip into one post.
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first day.
i was down with flu and sore throat and we all only had 3 to 4 hours of sleep the night prior to the trip.
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we found out that my bro booked a hotel 45 mins away from the city.got conned by the taxi driver right after we touched down.70% of excitement was gone.had lunch at hotel lounge and discovered that they had nice phad thai.
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our room.love the bathroom cos it was so spacious and you can look at BKK scenery while bathing if you like that kinda thing.
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while out hunting for my sister's wedding gown tailors(she had a few) at sukhumvit.stumbled upon the best thai mango salad in BKK while we were lost.walked around for hours and my bro's slipper broke -__- had to find last min replacement then continued our adventure.
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spent another hour being lost and then we found one of the tailors.i loved the all white decor and some of her vintage furnitures.isnt this couch charming?
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spent most of my trips looking at these.
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camwhored while bored.
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and the saddest thing that day was we had to settle for burger king as dinner as we were too tired and lost anyway :( and we slept at 9+ that night and woke up 12 hours later the next day :( :( :(
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second day.
woke up with my flu and sore throat gone.hurried down the lobby for breakfast with my pyjamas on with my bro as there were only 30 mins left before it was over.got weird stared from people.
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dolled up abit to enhance vacation mood haha.and camwhored in the taxi knowing that the make up would melt right after we get out of the taxi.my bro's face was damn black the entire day la.damn spoil mood -__-
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bought these yummy crab claws while we were at chinatown looking for fabric shop.got lost again. *dark face
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took cab to a place which was supposedly near another tailor we were looking for and had lunch at this place which were recommended by the ppl that area for having nice local food.made us so excited till we saw how most of the customers were foreginers and the food sucked T___T
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walked for an hour and half to go to the tailor -__- and walked past siam paragon.didnt get to go in. T__T wuwuwu
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after finding the tailor,we thought of going shopping while we wait to meet someone for dinner.
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went to this place that has wholesale and stuff but it was already 60% closed.spent 30 mins looking at ugly clothes and panties.we were mighty thirsty but the roadside stall selling drinks were closed.some local men there offered us what they had called soda water.note to self.NEVER EVER GET THIS DRINK AGAIN.went to a beer garden called mao deep.
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it was a total waste of time as the person we were supposed to meet was almost an hour late and already had dinner when we were supposed to meet for dinner.i got a cut on my knee which wouldnt stop bleeding for an hour or so.me and my sister left at 9 plus as we didnt like what we see anyway.went to suam lum night bazaar.maybe because it was a thurday night so most of the shops were closed early too FML.saw a pair of shoes i really really liked but it was pretty expensive.i went back to look for it the next day but couldnt fint the shop T__T went back to hotel empty handed.we were so scared in the taxi as the driver was driving us through unfamiliar roads double FML.ordered room service for phad thai at 2am for dinner.both of us went to bed with gastric that night T__T
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third day.
me and my sister woke up at 10am and missed the breakfast lol.i developed an ulcer :( then,we rushed out to her tailor at sukhumvit for fitting but the dress was not ready -.- walked bravely around that area to look for very very authentic thai food.hehe.we found one stall with many locals.
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we had to use one hand to eat and the other to swat flies hahaha.and the utensils were not really washed properly so you could taste the previous customers' saliva but the food was really good.especially the soup with pork and veggie.no idea what it was called as a local helped us to order.
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saw a gorgeous looking cafe while we were walking to the main road to get cab.
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cute dogs..and look!one of them is cocoa's breed.
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after buying fabrics again( but we got the wrong material this time T__T ) and went for measuring session at another tailor at pratuhnam,it was already 6pm.we rushed to this mall called prathunam plaza or something which was 20x better and bigger than far east plaza but it's at 7pm.tuk tuk ride was super fun.
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only managed to buy some stuff hurriedly and then rushed to MBK to get some snacks that my mum asked us to get.we couldnt find the snacks and there were 2 kind secondary school boys who led us two very lost women to the snack shop.but we still couldnt find what she wants hmm.
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went to suan lum again cos we had nowhere else to go.decided to give it a second chance.it was quite different on friday night as it was more crowded and more shops were opened.we still couldnt find anything we like to buy so we settled for dessert supper.
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one thing i dont understand is why thai people like to make their drinks so sweet.everything has condensed milk drizzled on it even if they are already very very sweet.but the girls there are so skinny.WHY??
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ohh,when we were at MBK,we saw this really really handsome guy that looks alot like this
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and then we saw his girlfriend who was really really pretty but when she opened her mouth to talk,we knew that she used to be a he.sigh.our status as women are really threatened.she was so pretty la.so unfair.
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last day. managed to wake up at 6.15am for breakfast before we left to the airport.
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end of BKK trip.so,sorry my dear friends.i didnt have time to get you all souvenirs.next time la huh.i dont why im still so tired after sleeping so much yesterday :( just had cough syrup.i guess imma go nap awhile now..need to keep myself busy to stop thinking so much.

I AM BACK
gotta go catch some sleep.brb.hehe.

LEAVING IN 6 HOURS
and i just had diarrhoea and i am having runny nose FML
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am praying for speedy recovery!lightning speed kind.need to wake up at 4.45am wuwuwu.am sorta kinda excited.cant sleep T__T

MONDAY BLUES
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i believe that i am having the weirdest and most stubborn case of sore eyes ever.it was gone for a good 4 days and although i dont have a prize to give,guess what i saw in the mirror first thing this morning?TEKKKK!wrong!it's not sore eyes cos i couldn't open my right eye in the beginning.it was clamped shut with all the eye shit T___T i dont know why is it like this either.
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and the lump in my eyelid.it did get smaller to a certain size and then it just stopped.maybe because i dont put hot compress as often anymore but when i have school,i dont have the time nor cloth+boiling water at school.i had a nightmare last night that i had to go for the surgery and the doctor plucked out all my lashes from my right eye but accidentally operated on the left eye instead FML.

TOTALLY WORN OUT
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the cough syrup's making me sleepy all the time.i need to recover a.s.a.p..hmm.actually i am feeling much better than i did last friday or even this morning.i know that because i tried singing 'you belong with me' just now and i didnt 'chao sia' (is this how you spell out of tune in hokkien anyway?) as badly as i did this afternoon.
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just booked 3 tickets to fly out of singapore this wed.everything's finalized.cant wait for wed to come.

CHASING HAPPINESS
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surely,it cant be that difficult.
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i suddenly thought of a meaningful quote that goes something along the line of
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"nothing is permanent.enjoy happiness to the fullest while it last and when you are feeling sad,rest assured that sadness wont be with you forever."
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i have to cheer up.all these stuffs that are happenning/happened are turning me into a complete sulky bitch sometimes.A SULKY BITCH WITH LUMP IN THE RIGHT EYELID AND FREAKING CONJUCTIVITIES.it's as though all the eye diseases decided to go to my right eye and have a party.
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***contents removed to prevent misunderstanding**
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p/s - i know,i ought to inject some happy posts into my blog a.s.a.p.but happy stuff = gabazillion no of photos = lotsa time needed to compose the post.erm i dont have much time this week cos it's UT week and i seriously need to start doing fyp or i can just prepare to stay in RP till the day i turn 35

FML
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i have the symptom of going to get sick soon from 'playing' in the rain.migraine and dizziness from menses T__T what is this?!ultimate sickness all in one go.still got stomach ache and nausea some more.
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and my eye.okay,the lump got abit smaller but i get sore eye now too so i'm afraid that it might be infection?gahhh.i'm tired of doing the hot compress every other hour.boil water.wash hands with soap.take towel.put in boiling water.cool it abit and put onto eye.repeat about 12 times for a day.its so bad for my nails T__T but i guess that's better than scraping the thing out.sigh.
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hopefully i get well enough to go out tmr.i am desperate for some happiness now T__T

TODAY..

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i went to see the doctor as i felt that the lump enlarged.the doctor told me that my eyelid has grown a lump due clogged oil gland at the lid.no idea of the cause.am supposed to put warm compress 4 times a day for a week and if it gets worse or still doesn't go away,i would have to get my eyelid flipped to cut the lump and scrape it out.i am praying that it will just disappear by itself tmr.
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today marks the second time that i attend a wake.it's also the first time in my entire 21 years to see a lifeless body.he isn't my relative but my sister's colleague's son.i saw him pretty often because i used to work at my sister's salon and he visited his mum often.he also came to my house for every chinese new year except for this year because he was hospitalised.
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R.I.P vincent.you've fought the battle bravely.